Why Is Everyone So Mean To Me?

Everyone encounters mean people in their lives. After all, not everyone in your life will support you. There are numerous reasons one would be prompted to be mean to you. But there may be times in your life that make you wonder, ‘why is everyone so mean to me?’ How is it possible that every person in your life is mean? How can you be sure that it’s others and not you?

Why Is Everyone So Mean To Me? Here’s The Reason!

Following are the reason you might think that why is everyone so mean to me?

They Have Low Self-esteem

People with low self-esteem tend to project their negative emotions onto others. Projection is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when someone has something negative seething within them and mistakes it for something coming from the outside. It is a subconscious attempt to avoid dealing with unwanted emotions. As a result, rather than attempting to acknowledge and address their emotions, they project them onto others. It is a means for them to relieve their stress by attributing their issues with self-esteem to others.

Your Judgment Is Off

If you suffer from persistent anxiety, your sense of reality is likely to be skewed as a result. Anxiety impacts how the human brain uses the visual attention system, which, among other things, helps humans respond to threats for self-preservation. It has the potential to make this system hypersensitive, resulting in reality distortion. As a consequence, a neutral scenario can turn dreadful as a result of your emotions and mental monologue. The world appears to become a much scarier place, where everyone is mean and hates you.

They Want What You Have

Some people are undeniably cruel. They have malicious intentions because they want something you have. Their actions are motivated by faulty logic. They may be threatened by your generosity or positivity and wish to degrade you. Such people can be envious of your money or physical resources and wish they had what you do. They are most likely members of a social group that gains power by reducing their power in some way.

They Are Unable To Communicate Effectively

Meanness is also an indicator of a lack of appropriate communication and social skills for some people. They struggle with expressing their needs and concerns respectfully. People with poor communication skills tend to panic easily and become defensive too quickly. They fear being disregarded if they talk quietly and respectfully, so they instantly resort to anger, personal assaults, threats, or insults. Perhaps being pushy and nasty worked for them in the past, and they learned to get their demands satisfied that way.

They Hate You

People may be envious of you or harbor hatred toward you. They may harbor resentment toward you because of how they perceive you. Consider your relationship with that individual and whether you have done anything to make the person resentful. That doesn’t imply you should feel responsible for their feelings, but it may explain their actions. When you recognize someone has bad feelings toward you, it is easy to see where the motivation for their conduct originates from.

They Feel A Sense Of Power Over You

Some people confuse aggression with power. It is a means for them to gain or demonstrate social authority and power. People who have poor self-esteem and self-confidence use this method to feel more confident and in charge of their lives. Such people believe you are more powerful than them and hence attempt to bring you down.

Being Insecure

People may be insecure and continuously feel the need to convince themselves and others that they are better than you. These People frequently do this by being passive-aggressive, making unpleasant and snarky remarks, mocking you, and so on. Because they feel powerless and worried about their self-worth, they are attempting to bring you down before you can bring them down. These folks believe you are above them in some way. They’re attempting to protect themselves by being cruel to you. These will likely leave you alone if you simply speak up for yourself because such people have low self-esteem, to begin with so they are easily intimidated.

They Are Elitists

These are the people who consider themselves better or superior to you. They believe that their social or material status gives them the right to be condescending and disrespectful to those they deem inferior. They can be one of the most toxic people for your self-esteem, especially if you are around them daily. Avoid being in their company and if you can’t afford to do that, try not to take them seriously and avoid engaging in discussion with them.

Poor Emotional Management Skills

People who cannot regulate their emotions properly tend to get easily agitated and anxious about everything, even the people around them. They find it difficult to restrain themselves, once their anger flares. They may even regret losing their temper later.  You will feel a lot better if you understand that their anger and meanness stem from a lack of self-control and failure to manage their emotions, and you do not need to take them too seriously.

Lack of Self And Social Awareness

Some people are simply oblivious that they come across as rude to others, or they are unaware of how their actions affect others. Their behavior is not motivated by hostility, but by a lack of social awareness, a grasp of social signs and conventions, and the ability to recognize impolite behavior in oneself or others. It is critical to be able to determine if this is the case because there are numerous instances where people appear mean for these reasons while they have no such intention.

They Are Ideologically Or Politically Opposed To You

People can be mean to you simply because they hold different political, social, and ideological beliefs than you. They can discern your opinions just by being around you, listening to your discussions, or even observing your digital footprint. This does not imply that you shouldn’t share your views in an attempt to avoid being mistreated for unintentionally offending someone. The issue is with them, not with you.

What Causes A Person To Be Mean?

why is everyone so mean to me?

Positive Distinctiveness

According to social identity theory, humans need to positively distinguish themselves from others. Because humans naturally create groups, the desire for positive distinction extends to the groups to which we belong, such as socioeconomic class, family, football team, and so on. We tend to favor our in-groups above our out-groups. Being part of the same group serve as a source of pride and self-esteem. As a result, we tend to see people who are not members of our group less favorably than those who are. Members of an in-group tend to seek out negative elements of an out-group to improve their self-image. This is especially true when there is competition between groups or when people believe their group’s identity has been threatened.

Ego Threat

When a person’s self-esteem or self-image is threatened, it drives them to act aggressively. It does not matter how people feel about themselves in general. What matters is how people feel worse about themselves than normal at the given moment. Research has shown endangered self-esteem is connected with a wide spectrum of heightened violent behaviors. For example, when people are insulted rather than commended, they are more likely to make others listen to distasteful clamor.


According to Sigmund Freud, people tend to attribute their negative feelings to other people to avoid facing uncomfortable emotions. If you feel dishonest, you are likely to perceive others as dishonest. It makes you feel better about yourself in return. In one study, when participants were told they were angry, they were more inclined to perceive another person’s conduct as angry. Consequently, they experienced fewer angry thoughts themselves.

Social Comparison

According to social comparison theory, people tend to make comparisons between themselves and other people. It explains people’s innate desire to compare themselves to others. Comparisons may be upward or downward to feel better or worse about themselves, respectively. People who strive to appear better than others are prone to making negative comparisons that allow them to look down on others. Studies support the idea that when people are insulted or belittled, they are more negative toward others and that this might make people feel better about themselves.

What Are The Traits of A Mean Person?

Here are some traits of a mean person, Because of these traits you sometimes feel “Why is everyone so mean to me?”


It is difficult to collaborate with these people whether as a team leader or team member because of their need to be in charge of everything. They like to dictate and micromanage every last detail while doing their best to keep you uncertain.


Such people are unconcerned about how you feel. They do not consider the consequences of their words or actions. They won’t let you finish what you’re saying and constantly interrupt you.

Overly Emotional

They are overly dramatic, furious, depressed, and generally self-absorbed. They may have good intentions, but they invest too much of their heart and soul into their work, making any setback or unexpected incident an emotional rollercoaster.


They are self-centered, egotistical, and unable to empathize with others. They must inject themselves into topics, projects, and concerns that are unrelated to them.


They are selfish, manipulative, and will constantly lie to get their way. They will conceive and develop a means to turn the tide.


Manipulators can make you feel so miserable that you doubt your worth. They blame, have wild outbursts, bring up all your past mistakes, purposefully harm you, and refuse to apologize.

Motivated By Personal Interests

They may not be necessarily evil but such people don’t know how to accomplish anything that isn’t in their self-interest, they are selfish at heart. These people are untrustworthy since their participation in a relationship or a project needs them to be completely invested. When they lose interest, they stop putting in their best effort.


They enjoy watching the drama unfold simply because they are bored. They stir the pot to generate excitement, even if it means disrupting the peace and productivity of a shared space.

Clingy and Annoying

They may not mean to be bothersome, but it is difficult for these people to work by themselves. They require constant affirmation and appreciation from their peers in everything they do.


Progressing can be challenging with non-confrontational people. They avoid taking on responsibility, interacting with their others, and refusing to work with anyone, regardless of the circumstances.

How To Deal With Mean People?

Accept Your Emotions

Facing meanness can make you feel hurt and angry. Recognize that all of your emotions are valid. The only way you will be able to learn how to cope with mean individuals and move on is by being honest with yourself about them.

Remember It’s Not You

It’s difficult not to take meanness personally, but the truth is that you have no idea what they’re going through. They may be going through a difficult period and lack support or an outlet to process it. You must always remember that it is not personal to you. But you should also remember that going through difficult situations does not justify their mistreatment of you. Talk to them about how it’s affecting you.

Don’t Let Them Get To You

Understand that you’re unlikely to influence their minds or make them see how their actions affect others, but most importantly, avoid internalizing their remarks. You can’t let the world’s haters alter your sense of self-worth. 

Remember You Have A Choice

You can decide whether you’ll let someone else’s negativity affect you, even if you’re forced to interact with them. So you have control over how they influence you. You don’t have to accept these people or their toxic energy.

Devise A Strategy

If they are consistently mean to you, such people are considered toxic. It’s better to limit your contact with them or avoid them entirely. If complete removal from your life is not possible, you must come up with a strategy for dealing with mean people.

Don’t Opt For Revenge

Revenge is never the ideal approach to tackle an issue and will only make matters worse in the long term. It may sound fun in the imagination, but it is not. Negative energy feeds on itself, multiplying and destroying everything in its path.

Show Compassion and Kindness

It is probably the last thing you might wanna do for them, but it is the best way to deal with mean people. Offer them empathy and compassion. Try to understand what motivated them to act this way. Take the first step in healing.

Take Away

People may be mean to you for various reasons. Their need to project their insecurities onto others, compare themselves with others, and appear better than them may drive them to act mean to anyone they perceive as a threat. Some people may genuinely be struggling in life and are taking it out on you. In all these circumstances, it is imperative to remember that the problem is with them, not you. We hope that the your quest to find the answer to “why is everyone so mean to me” might come to a successful end with the information and tactics we provided above.


Why is someone always so mean?

People are always so mean to you because of their insecurities and low self-esteem. They are mean to you as a way to gain power over you. It makes them feel better about themselves. Such people like to project their insecurities onto you to avoid facing uncomfortable emotions. Some may genuinely be malicious and want what you have. These people are usually entitled and narcissists and can’t fathom the idea of someone else having or accomplishing something better than themselves.

What do you do when someone is mean to you for no reason?

It is tempting to give such people a taste of their own medicine, but it’s better to act like a bigger person because some people may be going through something difficult in their lives that’s making them act this way. First, remember that it is not personal. Their meanness stems from their issues. Don’t internalize their meanness. Talk to them about how their meanness affects you. If these people cannot be helped, you have a choice to step away and remove these people from your life.

Why are people mean to nice people?

People tend to be suspicious of people who are too nice, so they try to punish these people by being mean to them. Nice people can make others look bad so bringing them down sounds fun to many people. This behavior is common in competitive environments like workplaces and academic settings.

How do you respond to a mean person?

Don’t take their rudeness personally. Instead, treat them with kindness and compassion. Try to talk to them about why act the way they do. You might gain important insight into their behavior, and may even be able to help them. If they are elitist narcissists, however, cut them off from your life.

Why is everyone so rude nowadays?

Many people have encountered people who were unkind to them, experienced long-term or recurring stress, were hurt, something bad happened, or have negative thoughts about themselves and others. There has been less communication and acceptance of people and our feelings. The pandemic has also substantially deteriorated everyone’s mental health. People have been pushed to their breaking points. Everyone responds differently to these situations. Unfortunately, not everyone receives the closure they deserve.

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