Parents are not without flaws. Even the most caring mother can make errors, lose her anger, or say something that inadvertently hurts her child’s feelings. There is a significant distinction, though, between a mom who is having a terrible day and a toxic mother who produces a stressful home environment or a problematic family dynamic. In this blog, we will reveal 8 signs you were raised by a toxic mother.
If these symptoms are or were present in your relationship with your mother, you are stronger for having gone through them, but you may still have some challenges to work through in the future. Sure, your experiences help you develop, but it doesn’t make them appropriate to push on you. To begin, let us define a toxic mother.
What Is A Toxic Mother?
Although there is no one definition of a toxic father or mother, it may characterize as someone who uses narcissistic traits to gain an advantage over their children. The term “mother” represents compassion, caring, warmth, and optimism. A poisonous mother, on the other hand, is the polar opposite. Instead of love, a toxic mother instills in her kid deceit, rebukes, ignorance, humiliation, and other undesirable attributes. Toxic moms are frequently physically, emotionally, or both abusive.
The 8 Signs You Were Raised By A Toxic Mother
If you grew up feeling unwanted, manipulated, or that your boundaries were ignored, you may have had a toxic mother. As an adult, you may have anxiety, sadness, poor coping abilities, and relationship issues.
Therapy can assist you in healing from a tough upbringing and avoiding the development of destructive habits in your interactions with your children. Here are several signs you were raised by a toxic mother.
‘Silent’ period
If you have a ‘silent’ time, this is one of the signs you have a toxic mother. Toxic moms frequently employ silent treatment to prevent their children from speaking up. They make children feel guilty for things they did not do and attempt to get them to apologize for their conduct.
These practices have a long-term harmful influence on the psychology of children. Toxic moms also blame and attempt to control their children’s undesirable conduct. This can make children feel insignificant and make them regret standing up against their toxic mother.
Disregards personal boundaries
A poisonous mother doesn’t care about her privacy. She will deny you privacy because she wants to micromanage every part of your life. Your mother may check your phone and mail without your consent, go through your belongings while you are away, and in extreme circumstances, stalk you online. She does it less out of care for you and more out of a desire to use it against you to exert control over you.
Empathy deficit
A typical sign of having a toxic mother is a lack of empathy. These mothers are frequently cold, detached, and cruel, and these traits might follow you into adulthood. They may make outrageous demands and expect you to drop everything to please them. They may be prone to criticism, rage, guilt, and other unpleasant feelings as well.
Allowing yourself to be in these negative forces might lead to sentiments of bitterness and fatigue. This mother lacks empathy and is unable to connect with her children. She may be inconsistent in her expression of affection or may not know how to show it properly. As a result, the bond between mother and child is weak.
Compares to other children
The child may have received an A in all subjects. But a toxic mother is upset because her neighbor’s child gets an A+ in two areas. There is a difference between encouraging your child to achieve higher and undermining their self-esteem by comparing them to another child. A toxic mother constantly compares her children and ignores their strengths. She may even do comparisons between siblings.
You feel anxious
Children who have toxic mothers frequently go through anxiety problems. The Family intends to make you feel safe, to be a place where you don’t have to get constant security. However, it takes a toll on you when your family fails to offer you this protection.
Self-esteem issues
Children raised by toxic moms frequently have poor self-esteem and are always preoccupied with the needs of others. As a result, these children frequently have low self-esteem and may suffer from perfectionism. Abuse like this can lead to melancholy, self-deprecation, and even suicidal thoughts.
A toxic mother makes excessive expectations and lashes out at her children. They also criticize the child when they fail to reach their expectations. This results in poor self-esteem and dread of speaking in public and drawing attention to oneself. Worse, these children may be lacking in social skills, making it harder for them to cope.
Always overreacts
When you disagree with her, she becomes enraged. She lacks the maturity to handle disagreements healthily or to manage her wrath. The use of yelling, name-calling and even violent and abusive conduct are prevalent.
Plays the victim card
Guilt is one of the most powerful weapons a toxic mother can use against her child. She would scream in anguish every time her child stands up against her toxic conduct and blame the child for making her feel horrible. She manipulates her children, making them feel ungrateful for hurting their mother by speaking against them.
The Bottom Line
The above are simply eight signs you were raised by a toxic mother. There are more. We should not expect our moms have such a strong effect on our mental health. They are the first individuals we meet, and their demeanor instructs us about the world.
It is important to realize, however, that no matter how poisonous your relationship with your mother was, it was not your fault. There’s no reason to get upset because you have a toxic mother and your relationships are bound to fail.
Therapy might help you deal with the circumstance positively. Therapy sessions might help you understand how your upbringing influenced your thoughts and conduct.