What is wrong with me? It is a question that everyone asks themselves time and again. It could be a brief moment of self-doubt or a persistent feeling due to subconsciously comparing yourself to others. Stressful circumstances may also make you question your sanity.
In some cases, nothing actually happens. You feel trapped and chastise yourself while behaving quite normally; you ask questions like, ‘Is there something wrong with me?’ ‘What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel like this?’.
People have varying perspectives on life. They enjoy investigating the issue deeper when there is a problem with them physically or mentally; it is called self-diagnosis – a very typical response because it gives them a sense of control.
When people meet new and different people in their lives, particularly those whose life experiences differ from their own, they begin to wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” Everyone has some bias due to their personal histories and experiences. This bias may occasionally lead you toward or away from those different from you or from novel experiences. Similar to how you might feel like something is wrong with your thoughts and feelings, you might question another person’s perspective on the same issue and find their reasoning flawed. Being conscious of your emotions and prejudices that may influence you and the other person’s thinking is crucial in life.
Instead of feeling guilty for having biases, it is imperative to be aware of where your biases lie so that you don’t keep yourself from new perspectives simply because some part of you has already failed to see your potential. Even if you have a different opinion on an issue or it appears that you may be incorrect, you must be as respectful of other people’s feelings as possible, especially if it’s with someone you’re very familiar with, such as your best friend, a family member, or a close coworker at your job.
What’s Making You Feel This Way?
Before delving into what might actually be wrong with you, consider some alternative explanations for why you believe something is wrong with you.
Traumatic Experience
Suffering from a traumatic experience or having been a victim of trauma in the past can lead you to wonder, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ It could result from losing a close family member or friend, being a victim of domestic or sexual abuse in the past, or going through a harrowing experience such as a house fire. Trauma can manifest more subtly, such as living with a narcissistic abuser. It can significantly impact your mental state, and you must seek professional help if this is the case for you.
Physical illness
Probably the reason you are wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” is connected to something in your body. You may be confused and worried about what is going on with your body, whether you have a diagnosed illness and are experiencing new symptoms or have symptoms that have yet to be understood or diagnosed. The solution to this problem may be seeking the assistance of a medical professional.
Mental illness
Suffering from mental illnesses like depression, anxiety disorder, or personality disorder may make you question your sanity. The best action in these situations is to speak with a mental health professional for diagnosis and treatment, just like with a physical illness. But it’s also crucial to learn coping mechanisms to control your mental health as much as possible on your own.
Low self-worth
Low self-esteem and a low sense of self-worth may be the root cause of the perception that something is wrong with you. It affects every aspect of your mental health and makes you feel like you are not good enough. Feeling this way does not correspond to reality; what matters is how you view yourself. The answer to this problem is to figure out the fundamental principles that underlie your low self-esteem, which may result from guilt or shame.
You feel stuck
Do you ever feel stuck in life? Does everyone else in your life have figured it out but you? Or are you having trouble moving past a breakup, leaving a job you despise, or ending a toxic relationship? If you have specific expectations for your life and feel that you are not living up to them, this might make you believe that something is wrong with you.
You feel lonely
You should first try to understand the source of your loneliness. Many things can make you feel isolated or lonely. There’s nothing wrong with you in any way. Unfortunately, human brains are not wired to just “think” their way out of feeling lonely. Perhaps you are anxious about making new friends or have strained relationships with family. When you think that something is wrong with you because you are lonely, it usually means that you find it challenging to develop the kind of relationships with other people that you desire in life.
Other reasons
Here are some other thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that may make you ask yourself, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ along with explanations as to why you feel this way.
Unprocessed thoughts
You probably have a lot on your plate and aren’t giving your brain enough time to process your emotions. Cognitive decline is a common manifestation of lack of sleep and inability to process your thoughts and feelings. Talk to someone about it, or develop a plan for what to do when you are alone.
Sleeping too much
You are supposed to rest, relax and recharge on your bed so you can face the next day head-on. But the responsibilities of the day can make it increasingly harder to leave your bed. The weight of the duties and tasks you must perform for the day pushes you to spend half of your day in bed. Sleeping no longer feels relaxing; it just becomes a mechanism to avoid your responsibilities that keep piling on. Waking up and leaving your bed sounds like a nightmare, and you wonder, ‘what’s wrong with me?’
Brain fog
Brain fog affects your ability to think clearly. You cannot concentrate or focus, feel exhausted all the time, and can’t think clearly, no matter how hard you try. Brain fog is one of the many symptoms of depression. It is described as cognitive dysfunction in the context of depression, and its effects include difficulty remembering things, paying attention, planning and coordinating, and delayed response to the surrounding. Seeking help from a medical professional is a viable option.
Abusive parents
At times, Parents are underprepared to raise children. Some people are violent or abusive parents. Some manipulative parents may even brainwash you into believing that they are always good and that you are responsible for the unfortunate things that happen to you. It can leave you feeling as if there is no reason for your negative feelings toward them, leading to feelings of guilt, resentment, and anger that have nowhere to go. You begin to believe something is fundamentally wrong with you because of messages you received from your parents as children.
Feeling out of control
When nothing goes how you expected it to, life can feel like it’s getting out of your hands. You then fight against what is happening, looking for any way to change things. This fight emphasizes how little control you have, and you may come to believe that something is wrong with you. In situations like this, you need to accept that some things are beyond your control, no matter how hard you work or your sincere goals. You can never be happy if you spend your life trying to change the unchangeable and wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” You must do your best with what you can control while accepting what you cannot.
Feeling unheard
Nothing is more important in life than connecting with others. But, it becomes much more challenging when those around you can’t engage and connect in ways that feel good to you. When you don’t feel heard and understood, it can feel as if something is wrong with you, even when it isn’t. Luckily, most people aren’t out to hurt you; they just don’t know what you truly need. You can improve this by honing your communication skills. Asserting your needs may lead to a difficult conversation, but it will be beneficial to your relationships in the long run. But, before you go knocking on their door, practice what you’re going to say.
How To Stop Feeling Something Is Wrong With Me?
Whatever the reasons are that make you feel like there’s something wrong with you, there are several things you can do to minimize those feelings.
Remember, no one is perfect.
Keeping in mind that nobody is perfect prevents you from questioning your sanity. It reminds you there’s always room for development and something to work toward – a potential self that you can shape. Instead of beating yourself up for going through a difficult time, suffering a setback, or making mistakes, allow yourself to be imperfect. Even some of the most hardworking people fail in life. Your flaws and faults are a blessing in disguise. They assist in molding your potential. Perhaps a poor choice compels you to reflect on who you are, make changes, and create a better version of yourself.
Thoughts can be misconstrued.
You must take a look at what’s going through your mind. Is it the negativity vortex that’s sending you into a tailspin? If you’re constantly wondering, ‘what’s wrong with me,’ it is because your thoughts are leading you astray. Thoughts can often be misleading. You will not have a constructive outcome if you act on your negative thoughts. You must keep your thoughts separate from your actions. Believe it or not, after catching a toxic thought a few times, your thought will eventually stop when you tell it to, and you will be able to focus on something more productive.
Journal your thoughts.
Record anything that goes wrong in your life in a journal. Writing down your thoughts is an excellent way to have a moment of clarity. You can find solutions once you allow your brain to process your thoughts and become aware of recurring patterns. So, take some time to consider what you can accomplish by journaling about your difficulties. You could also focus on solving the ‘What is wrong with me?’ problem by journaling your thoughts about it. You could also have a growth mindset and achieve personal growth by writing down everything you are grateful for to help you think more positively rather than negatively.
Develop a new goal.
It’s time to set a new goal if you keep wondering what’s wrong with you. No matter how many mistakes you make in life, you can always forge a new path for yourself if you commit to a goal that steers your future self in a different direction. If you’re battling addiction, identifying as your future self can help you achieve your goal of giving up your vices. If you’re unhappy in life, setting a goal to make someone else smile every day can help you feel better. It’s best to have a single purpose-driven goal that propels you to the next level to live your best life.
Change One Attribute of Yourself
If you are constantly wondering what’s wrong with you, maybe you need to change an aspect of yourself. You don’t have to rebrand your entire personality. Start by only changing one part of yourself; you will also notice positive differences in other aspects of your life. Think about what aspect of yours requires the most work. Maybe you need to become a more empathetic person. Doing random acts of kindness to anyone you come across may help you to nurture empathy within yourself. Perhaps you have finally noticed how you hurt others around you when your mental health is debilitating. So you seek help from a psychotherapist to improve your mental health and keep yourself from harming others.
Meditate
Meditation is a set of practices that involves attaining a heightened sense of attention and awareness. It helps you calm down your racing thoughts, releases negativity, soothes your mind and body, and enables you to manage better the emotional challenges you face. It is about being more proactive rather than reactive. And often, when you wonder what’s wrong with you, it’s because you haven’t developed your mental fortitude. You can start meditating now.
Invest in self-care.
You must invest in self-care when things aren’t going as you want them to. Relax by smelling candles or essential oils. Take a short break by resting your brain and watching something mindless. Take mindful walks in nature with a friend or spouse and discuss life. When you’re wondering, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ music and dance can be a fun way to unwind. Of course, not everyone will have the same coping skills as you, so define self-care for yourself. Whether it’s exercise or talking to a mental health professional about your depression or anxiety, doing something to relieve stress can be beneficial.
Take care of one challenge at a time.
Difficult times tend to hit all at once, making you wonder if there’s something wrong with you. You feel overwhelmed and want to crawl into bed and hide from the world. But avoiding a mountain of problems is only going to make things worse. Concentrate on solving one problem at a time. For example, if you’ve lost your job, are coping with mental health issues, and are contemplating divorce, prioritize one of those issues first. Perhaps you devote all of your efforts to finding a new job. After you’ve landed that job, you spend time improving your mental health. Once you’re in a good emotional place, you’ll be ready to face the turmoil of divorce. You must understand that this is just how life works.
Go to bed on time.
People who constantly wonder, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ tend to spend too much time in bed or stay up late in a panic. Try going to bed at a reasonable hour. Decision fatigue occurs when your brain’s decision-making ability deteriorates throughout the day. Sleeping at 9 p.m. every night allows you to sleep when your brain is exhausted. Furthermore, people who go to bed early tend to get up early. Sufficient sleep enables them to feel fully rested. Consequently, they don’t spend too much time in bed and have more time to focus on self-improvement, mental health, and their life’s purpose if they get up earlier in the morning.
Exercise.
If you feel something is wrong with you, allow your body to do whatever it wants. The fight or flight response kicks in times of stress – fight at your local martial arts gym or go for a run to release stress. Exercise releases feel-good hormones that counteract feelings of guilt that stem from actions like stress eating, saying hurtful words, or overthinking. Being physically active allows you to work through the issue in your head. If you suffer from depression, stress, or anxiety, you can cope by getting some fresh air, taking a walk, and taking charge of your life. But you must see a mental health professional to properly treat the mental health disorder.
Read happy books.
You should purchase books on subjects that will help you become aware of your shortcomings as they occur and alter their course as a result. Instead, concentrate on which behaviors and weaknesses you want to improve. If you notice constantly arguing with others, you may want to invest in communication books. If others describe you as cold, you might want to invest in empathy or meditation books. Your flaws or weaknesses should not discourage you because change is the only constant in life. You’ll naturally improve yourself by devising a method to acquire new skills, traits, or interests.
Deal with emotional pain.
Does it hurt your feelings when you ask yourself, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ Bottling up your emotions and not having a healthy outlet to release them can cause you to have an emotional collapse. Emotional damage eventually hurts your physical health, too. Working your emotions out to preserve and improve your emotional and physical health is crucial.
Learn to communicate effectively.
Knowing how to communicate your needs to others is an important skill. You should know how to constructively communicate your anger or frustration because not everyone responds well to negative emotions. It usually escalates the situation. You can hurt others’ feelings while feeling unheard. Both people’s needs are ultimately unsatisfied, building up resentment over time.
Seek professional help.
As mentioned in this article, brain fog makes you feel tired, burned out, unhealthy, or at your wits’ end. You might require additional assistance when your brain cannot make sound decisions. You will need to take charge of your life to get a fresh start.
But not all of life’s problems can be solved by employing coping mechanisms or adopting healthier habits. Seeking professional help from a counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, or coach can assist you in regaining control of your life. Sometimes you need someone to listen to your story and point out the patterns you’re missing. An objective ear can help you avoid digging deeper into a bottomless pit of self-doubt. Consider seeking professional assistance as a second opinion to help you get closer to your goals in life. When you describe what is wrong with yourself, they will be able to remind you of what is right while getting you back on.
Take Away
‘What is wrong with me?’ is something that everyone wonders at various points in their lives. Multiple reasons are at work to make you feel so, including self-doubt, comparing yourself with others, mental and physical illness, sexual and domestic violence victimization, or experiencing other traumatizing events. Some causes can be dealt with by employing various coping strategies, but severe causes need to be seen by healthcare professionals. If you don’t suffer from any reasons above yet feel like there’s something wrong with you, just remember that nobody is perfect. Everyone is struggling in one way or another.
FAQs
Why do I constantly think there is something wrong with me?
Various underlying mental and physical conditions, traumatic experiences, and stressful circumstances can make you believe there’s something wrong with you. Almost everyone feels like there’s something wrong with them time and again. The feeling also stems from self-doubt and constantly measuring yourself to other people. Fortunately, you can eliminate feeling like there’s something wrong with you by adopting healthier coping mechanisms and habits and regulating emotions. In case of a severe condition, such as mental or physical illness being the underlying condition, you should seek professional help.
What do you do when you feel wrong?
If you feel like there’s something wrong with you, you can do several things to make yourself feel better.
You should start by writing in your journal – write everything you think goes wrong. Invest in self-care, read happy books, practice meditation, and exercise. Set a goal if you think you might need to reorient your life. If you have multiple challenges to deal with in life, take care of them one at a time. Taking on everything at once will overwhelm you and worsen your situation. If your condition does not improve, you might need to contact a clinically trained therapist or healthcare professional – an underlying mental and physical illness might be at play.
Where is guilt stored in the body?
Many people define guilt as a heaviness in the body. It causes a build-up of muscle tension resulting from psychological stress associated with feeling guilty. Guilt also manifests in depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Practicing yoga can help you get rid of feeling guilty.
What is the feeling of not knowing what to do with yourself?
It is called catastrophizing. It refers to the feeling when you feel lost, don’t know what to do, how to feel, or where to go. You begin to question every aspect of your life when you feel lost, spiraling out of control. People who are feeling lost frequently extend one minor setback or problem to other areas. You may feel a lack of provision, direction, and purpose. You may even begin to doubt yourself and the things you’ve believed. This feeling eventually permeates many areas, including friendships, relationships, career paths, and personal development.
Feeling overwhelmed by difficult situations can lead to a sense of being lost. One of the most dangerous aspects of feeling lost is not knowing who you are, which impacts your self-image and confidence. It tends to create a sense of detachment. This feeling is essential when going through painful situations in life, such as a breakup, trauma, or other challenging events. Feeling lost motivates you to face the truth and take necessary action in life.
What does it mean when you always think there’s something wrong with you?
Self-doubt, comparing yourself with others, and going through traumatic life experiences can make you feel like there’s something with yourself. A condition called hypochondriasis or health anxiety also leads you to believe you are seriously ill or may become sick.
How do you calm down when you don’t know what’s wrong?
Write in your journal about everything that seems to go wrong. Invest in self-care by reading uplifting books, meditating, and exercising. If you believe you need to reorganize your life, set a goal. If you have multiple challenges in life, deal with them one at a time. Trying to tackle everything at once will overwhelm you and worsen your situation. If your condition does not improve, you should see a clinically trained therapist or a healthcare professional because an underlying mental or physical illness may be at work.