For people who have been married for years, it is common for one of the partners to begin to take the other for granted and the other resorting to begging for attention in a relationship. Are you tired of begging for attention from your partner? Don’t worry anymore. In this article, We will discover the reasons why your partner may stop giving you attention.
For some people, living under the same roof amounts to blessing their partner with their utmost attention. They do not feel obliged to go out of their way to make their partner feel special. Their partners, however, often do not reciprocate their sentiment, making them feel frustrated and insecure. Both partners must feel seen, heard, and cared for to sustain a healthy relationship.
Reasons Why Your Partner May Stop Giving You The Attention
However, there are more reasons why your partner may stop giving you the attention you need:
Work-life balance
Maybe your partner is too busy grinding and hustling to climb the socioeconomic ladder or simply trying to make ends meet, but the workload demands can disrupt the work-life balance. They might be too busy managing and executing several tasks and projects while also fulfilling familial responsibilities that it spares them no time for you and themselves.
Maybe it’s actually you
Your partner might just be reciprocating your treatment of them. Maybe it is you who find it hard to afford some time with your partner, maybe you have been, inadvertently, sending them the signals that you no longer have time for them. Your partner might be under the perception that you are longer interested in them.
Toxic behavior
Upon some self-assessment, often people find out that the way they address people is considered toxic. Your seemingly innocent criticism and patronizing remarks can make your partner feel disrespected. If every statement you make is an insult, criticism, or a demeaning comment, your partner is naturally going to keep their distance from you. Being able to communicate everything on your mind does not translate to being rude. If you constantly pass passive-aggressive remarks, you run the risk of upsetting, alienating, and pushing away your spouse by continuously hurting their feelings.
You are not listening to them
Are you a chatterbox who has a habit of interrupting your spouse? Talking over them? If so, you are probably not doing a good job of listening to them either. Not being heard and constantly having to repeat themselves can get frustrating. It is discouraging your partner from sharing their feelings with you. It hurts their sense of self-worth and makes them feel as if they do not mean much to you.
You are not a priority
There is also a good chance that you are no longer a priority to your partner. Does your partner spend too much time hanging out with their friends? Are they always online on social media, tweeting away every thought that crosses their mind? Do they spend their weekend’s video gaming their lives away? Despite you asking them to dedicate some of their time to you? Then their failure to do so is a rather depressing sign of them no longer prioritizing you.
They are no longer interested in you
It is rather hurtful to come to terms with, but your partner may have lost interest in you but does not know how to communicate that. Them not caring for your interests and preferences, not listening to what you have to say, and not appreciating your presence in their lives indicate their lost interest in you.
Whatever the reasons, situations like these can make people beg for the attention of their partner. Maybe you are not so sure or still in denial about whether your partner deprives you of their attention or not, and if you ever had to beg for it. Read on to find out.
Signs You Are Begging For Love In Your Relationship
Here are some mind-opening signs you are begging for love in your relationship.
You prioritize your partner’s needs above yours
To get your partner to love you more, you have been overly considerate of their needs and desires at the expense of your needs and comfort. You make sure you are available for them at every step because fulfilling their needs is the only way you know of them blessing you with their attention at this point.
You bless your partner with unearned appreciation
Another tactic you may have subconsciously employed is probably smothering your partner with the admiration they did not deserve. You give them endless compliments over the bare minimum as if that might motivate them into loving you more.
You have grown jealous
Jealousy is a common outcome of being in a relationship that does not fulfill your needs. You are afraid of losing your partner to someone else, someone you have imagined to be “better” and more “worthy” of your partner’s attention than you. As a result, you take out your jealousy in insignificant instances, like your partner simply interacting with a member of the opposite gender.
You let your partner disrespect you
So, you refuse to stand up for yourself when your partner disrespects you for fear of losing whatever remnants of attention you are still getting. You keep giving them the benefit of the doubt, excusing their behavior without them having to apologize, and wondering if maybe you deserved it.
Most of the time you avoid conflict
Conflict is a taboo word in your dictionary. You go to any lengths to prevent it. You probably blame yourself and apologize for your partner’s mistakes because you do not want to upset your partner at any cost.
Do these ring a bell, or rather an alarm? If so, you must also be aware of how unhealthy it is to be in such a relationship.
What is the impact of begging for love in a relationship?
Begging for love and attention in a relationship affects not only the quality of your relationship but also damages your mental health.
Low self-esteem
Continuous lack of attention can lead you to internalize the belief that there must be something wrong with you to be starved of attention from your partner. This lowers your self-esteem and confidence. You begin to make up for this perceived fault or loss in yourself by trying to enhance your appearance, altering something about yourself or your behavior, and putting more effort than necessary to please your partner. Not only is this not fruitful, but it further feeds into your low self-esteem and self-doubt.
Increasing conflict
Not receiving your healthy dose of attention can build up resentment over time. Bitterness combined with the lack of proper communication and growing differences in how you and your partner view the thresholds of attention can cause you to become aggressive and hostile. The hostility seeps into your behavior and leads to conflict upon the right trigger.
Loss of intimacy
When your affection is not aptly reciprocated, you no longer feel the encouragement to invest further into your relationship. Consequently, your relationship suffers from a lack of emotional and physical intimacy, which give rise to confusion, frustration, and a loss of interest in the whole relationship.
Prone to infidelity
You feel deeply neglected due to lack of intimacy, rising conflict, low self-esteem, and thriving self-doubt, with little to no motivation to work on your relationship any longer. Eventually, you are motivated to look for another way and steer out of the relationship.
The ramifications of lack of attention from your partner probably have you frightened over the future of your relationship, but you are also tired of begging for attention from your partner. Fortunately, relationship experts have some solutions to help you improve the quality of your relationship.
What to do if you are tired of begging for attention from your partner?
Let yourself be vulnerable
Sometimes, your partner deprives you of attention due to them not receiving enough attention from you in the first place. They are probably suffering from the same dilemma as you are, feeling neglected and wondering what they did wrong or what circumstances or actions led you not to be attentive to them, eventually emotionally distancing themselves from you. In such a case, the best move is to be vulnerable and put your feelings in front of your partner first. If your partner feels the same way, they will open up to you.
Do not beg for your partner’s attention
Though it is important to be vulnerable about your concerns, it is still not a good idea to ask for your partner’s attention in case you are refused. It is vital to be conscious of your already deteriorating mental health and how it may be further damaged when you are rejected again.
Have your partner communicate their needs
Instead of asking your partner what they can do to improve your relationship, ask them about their needs and reasons for being inattentive. Financial and familial responsibilities, overburdening workload, social life, and bruised feelings from any of your actions could also be the reason behind your partner acting indifferently.
Communicate your feelings
Effectively communicating your feelings is just as important as finding out your partner’s. Your partner may not be aware of how their behavior is affecting you. Channel healthy communication by letting your partner sincerely know about your feelings and thoughts. Long-term relationships and responsibilities and business of life can often make a person oblivious to their partner’s needs.
Prioritize your well-being
There is a significant chance that the dynamic of your relationship led you to stop taking care of yourself. It is probably time to pursue your hobbies and interests. Join a gym, start eating healthier, and read and reread your favorite books. Fulfilling your interests will help you feel satisfied with life. Respecting and caring for yourself by honestly focusing on yourself and taking care of your needs will pique your partner’s interest or attention. Prioritizing yourself does not amount to playing hard-to-get, because that is not a mature and viable solution.
Pay attention to your behavior
Has have not received any attention from your partner turned you into a hostile person? People can frequently adopt a passive-aggressive demeanor in such situations and treat their partners disrespectfully. Your partner might feel indignant around you if you insult them every chance you get, instead of talking it out like mature adults.
Do not try to control your partner
Often, attention-deprived partners smother their partners with excessive attention and overbearing affection to get them to bless them with more attention. However, this is not a very practical approach. Not only this strategy has the potential to hurt your sense of self-worth further, but your partner may also find you manipulative.
Appreciate your partner’s effort to do better
If your partner understands your concerns and attempts to improve their behavior, make it a point to acknowledge and encourage their effort. Let them how much you appreciate them striving to work on your relationship.
Seek therapy
Consider getting expert assistance through counseling, if nothing else works for you. The perspective and presence of a neutral, clinically trained third-party member can sometimes help to uncover destructive cycles and improve partner communication. So, make sure to encourage your partner to join therapy with you.
Asking for attention from your partner is the most basic requirement of a healthy relationship, it should not make you feel needy for demanding something so fundamental. Your partner not being able to meet your needs for intimacy, communication and company can make you feel neglected but having to beg for attention also takes a heavy toll on your mental health and puts a strain on your relationship with your partner. Instead of being persistent in your effort to garner attention from your partner, spend time on self-improvement.
You should also consider exploring options like therapy. Parting ways might seem like an extreme step but if nothing is working out for you, it is better than begging someone to stay in a relationship.
FAQs
What to do if you are tired of begging for attention from your partner?
If you are tired of begging for attention from your husband or wife, you should first of all stop going down this fruitless path. Address this problem from a different direction, instead.
Start being open to your partner about your feelings. Let them know how you feel like you have to beg them for something as basic yet vital as attention. There is a good chance your partner is feeling the same way. Being vulnerable will allow you to effectively approach this problem.
- Being vulnerable does not mean, you immediately start begging for attention again. Your demand might be rejected once again.
- Make your partner communicate their feelings with you. Ask them about their needs, demands, and concerns.
- Tell your partner everything that you are feeling and going through. Make them aware of your demand.
- Work on self-improvement and fulfilling your hobbies and interests, instead of letting yourself slip into the abyss that is your partner’s lack of attention.
- Make sure you have turned into a vengeful entity upon your partner’s inability to provide you with due attention.
- Do not act like a controlling freak. You cannot manipulate your partner into giving you attention.
- Appreciate your partner’s effort to be a better spouse to reinforce their redeemed behavior.
- Go see a therapist if nothing works for you. Expert opinion from a clinically trained therapist might just be what you need.
Why does my partner not pay attention to me?
So, there can be several reasons why your significant other is behaving this way:
- Difficulty to maintain work-life balance has gotten in their way, and the financial and familial responsibilities have been keeping their attention at bay.
- It is actually you who has no time to time in their schedule for your partner while failing to communicate so, and your partner is merely extending you the same treatment.
- You are probably a toxic human being and do not even realize it, pushing your partner away.
- You ignore them, unintentionally, by not listening to what they have to say, forcing them to divert their attention elsewhere.
- Unfortunately, you really are not a priority. They would rather spend time with friends, overusing social media, and gaming.
- They are no longer interested in you but are not sure how to tell you that.
Why do I always have to beg for attention?
There are several reasons you have to resort to doing that:
- Your partner thinks they are already meeting your requisite attention.
- You are not communicating your needs effectively.
- Your partner has a gazillion responsibilities, making you have to beg for it.
- Your self-esteem is deeply hurt, and your sense of self-worth is distorted.
- You no longer hold the same importance in your partner’s life as you did before, and they are not attracted to you anymore.
What are the signs of a one-sided relationship?
- You make all the major decisions in your relationship.
- You are sacrificing your needs and preferences to fulfill your partner’s pursuits.
- The onus of starting a conversation always lies on you.
- You are the one apologizing no matter whose fault it is.
- You are the one financing everything in your relationship.
- You often find yourself excusing their behavior.
- You feel insecure about the status of the relationship.
Why do I crave so much attention from my husband/wife?
Being social animals, human beings crave validation and affection from people around them. The spouse is an important figure in your life. Desiring attention from them is normal, but craving it a little too much is bad for your self-esteem and relationship. In the end, you get tired of begging for attention from your husband/wife.