Are you in a relationship that makes you feel insane? You’ve lost yourself and don’t know what to believe any longer. If this is the case, you may be the victim of a gaslighter. Take control of the situation by learning how to turn the tables on a gaslighter. First, define the phrase “Gaslighting.”
The gaslighter will convince you of his falsehoods, insist that certain events never occurred, and even remove you from your friends and family. It’s time to make a shift.
What Is Gaslighting?
The name is derived from the 1939 movie, ‘Gaslight,’ in which a husband continues to make little alterations to the family house while denying anything has changed to make his wife fear she is going mad. The gaslights were dimmed as part of the renovations.
Gaslighting, on the other hand, may be considerably more subtle. It is frequently only verbal. The unfortunate issue is that it is frequently executed by someone we believe we can trust. Most gaslighters will strive to acquire our trust before engaging in manipulative conduct.
Here’s How to Turn the Tables on a Gaslighter
Recognize and recall any red signs that you may have overlooked. Before you act, double-check that he has crossed everything off the list that precisely depicts a gaslighter. Gather evidence that the gaslighter is attempting to perplex you. Take screenshots and make a list of all the times he mistreated you or attempted to convince you of the contrary of what you know to be true.
Now that we’ve figured out how to outwit a gaslighter, it’s time to find out how to turn the tables on a gaslighter. Let’s get started.
Be Aware That Gaslighting Exists
Once you’re aware that a lover, friend, or family member might turn on you in this subtle way, this is an important first step towards turning the tables on a gaslighter. Many individuals fall victim to gaslighting because it is simpler to believe that we are unreasonable than that someone close to us is manipulating our thinking.
Empathize with them
As tough as it may be at the time, being the larger person in situations with a gaslighter is sometimes the best decision. A gaslighter’s purpose is to force you to snap back at them, and once you do, they will label you as crazy. As a result, you deprive them of their power by making them feel understood and valued. Not only that, but it can help you understand their conduct. Anything doesn’t make it right, but empathizing with someone can sometimes help understand their actions.
Let them triumph
Winning an argument isn’t enough for a gaslighter. They don’t want you to go down without a fight because they live on getting you wound up emotionally. Hence, sometimes the best course of action is to let them win. This can be tough to do when you are certain you are correct, but it will reduce tensions on both sides. Not only that, but they won’t have the gratification of agitating you in a futile debate.
The problem with a gaslighter is that they believe they are the smartest person in the room. In their views, you are beneath them, and there is no way you could have detected their actions. Confront them about their manipulative conduct by telling them you see what they’re doing and that you will no longer tolerate it. Because gaslighting works best when the victim is unaware of what is going on, they may conclude that opposing you isn’t worth the effort because you’ve outwitted them.
Exhibit no emotion
It can be a very traumatic experience to have a gaslighter screw with your thoughts. It’s natural to feel sad or furious, but you don’t want to express such feelings. Gaslighters thrive on agitating you and toying with your emotions, which frequently just serves to exacerbate the deception. The best thing to do is to exhibit no emotion at all. Pretend you don’t care and that the issue has no meaning for you. Your gaslighter will be confused and scratching their head.
Stop responding to calls or messages from gaslighters
Stop responding to calls and messages from a partner who is gaslighting you. Do not return calls or messages from an employer or client who has duped you. If you must react, explain that you are busy and unable to speak at this time. If they are your partner, you might also try to communicate that you are not happy with how they are treating you. However, you must do it without escalating the issue, therefore you should have a script ready so you don’t say anything they can use against you.
Avoid getting defensive
When dealing with a gaslighter, the worst thing you can do is an excuse, explain, or defend your actions. You know you’re right, so maybe you think giving your perspective would help them “see the light.” This will very certainly backfire on you. Gaslighters will use everything you say against you as ammunition. They will alter your comments to fit their story, and when you become enraged, they will label you insane. They anticipate you to be defensive, so turn the tables by shocking them with a different reply.
How To Identify A Gaslighter?
The following are some techniques to spot a gaslighter.
- They are always right.
- They don’t pay attention to you.
- They have a terrible sense of humor.
- They are continually lying or making stuff up.
- Nothing ever goes right for you.
- It is impossible to achieve anything without being condemned or blamed for it.
The Bottom line
If you’ve been gaslighted in the past and are afraid that someone is now attempting to gaslight you, it’s critical to understand the warning signals. It might be difficult to recognize gaslighting when it occurs, but if you keep an eye out for the warning signals, you can protect yourself against abuse and manipulation.
Take action if you suspect you or someone you know is being gaslighted. Don’t allow a toxic individual to manipulate you or your loved one.
We’ve already provided you with advice on how to turn the tables on a gaslighter. Confront the gaslighter in a non-confrontational manner. If they retaliate, this can help you build a case against them.