So, you have just met someone and they are already telling you that the whole universe has brought you together for a reason? Do they talk about taking vacations together once you two get married? And how many children do they want to have with you? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to board a plane and embark on that bucket-list adventure together soon? What about next week? In this article, we will reveal Future Faking Signs And Examples. Stay with us!
When things become more serious, it’s natural for couples to discuss the future. But when your partner only talks the big talk and doesn’t follow through, know that you’ve had the misfortune to meet with a narcissist, and you’ve almost certainly witnessed future faking at its worst. People with strong narcissistic tendencies use future faking as one of the most visible yet subtle tools.
This article will take a look at future faking signs and examples, how it works and what you can do about it.
What Is Future Faking?
Future faking occurs when someone lies or promises something about your possible future to get what they want now. Future faking, in the hands of a skilled manipulator, preys on your goals and dreams to concoct a potential future so they can drag you along in the now. They make promises to appeal to your deepest desires, such as stability and long-term commitment. These commitments are doomed to failure and constitute a form of overpromising while falling short.
The manipulator will do little, if anything, to keep their promises. Instead, they will keep making promises and employing other forms of passive and active abuse to control you until you reach a point where it is simpler to comply with their demands.
The manipulator distorts your perception of your relationship as stronger and deeper than it is, and as a result, you end up caving into the manipulator’s demands.
You continue to show them your love and attention throughout this time while continuing to believe the lies they have painted for you. However, the person who is acting in love with you might not be in love with you.
According to New York-based psychologist, Greg Kushnick, future faking is not always intentional. They are not necessarily fooling you or acting with malice. They believe what they are saying or doing initially. But future faking can still damage you emotionally.
How Does Future Faking Work?
Narcissists use future faking to speak to your heart. They weaponize your deepest aspirations—whether they be for a spouse, kids, job, happiness, travel, fun, or anything to exert control over you.
The length and breadth of the lie eventually keep you bound to the manipulator. They may occasionally take some action to show that it’s not as bad as you think it is once you realize that they have broken their promises. But as soon as you start to feel at ease again, nothing changes.
Appealing to one’s emotions has the potential to seriously alter how one perceives reality in the long run. By the time people realize what’s happening to them, they have invested so much time, emotion, and effort in the relationship that they are unable to break free from the future faking that has been spun around them. They merely comply with the manipulator’s demands because doing so is simpler at this point.
Examples Of Future Faking
Example number: 01
You’ve been completely taken aback by your new partner. They have got to be the one because you two share so many similarities. You two wish to buy a home within the next year while exchanging endless descriptions of the ideal home, yard, and dog.
Your ship is sailing smoothly so far. You continue to fall in love. But they haven’t saved any money after six months. You’ve learned they have a tonne of debt, though you’re not exactly sure why. They eat out often and purchase pricey electronics, but they never seem to be working anywhere. You’re in love with them, though, and they’ve promised to start saving money moving forward so you two can have the house, yard, dog, and children. You decide that perhaps everything can wait. Love ultimately triumphs over all.
Example number: 02
Lenny dated a man for eight months who tried to sell her all kinds of hypothetical future events based on what Lenny had said. This began early on in their romance and only got worse over time. Before they started noticing some patterns, he was very persuasive and it was difficult to doubt him. He made constant false promises.
Naturally, none of those fantasies ever came true because they were all fabrications to get Lenny involved and in love with him. Always blaming someone or something else, but never himself. Despite his repeated ardent promises, Lenny ultimately decided to end their relationship one day.
Example number: 03
William was in awe of his good fortune as the attractive clubgoer made overtures to him and attempted to seduce him. He was unaware that the woman was a narcissist who was trying to seduce him into a relationship. She made good use of her attractiveness because she wasn’t doing well financially.
William fell into the trap of her dreams as they began dating. She described their future in excruciating detail, promising him a lifetime of passion, romance, and sex. He got engaged to her quickly. Their equation changed at that point. She began to distance herself from him, went shopping frequently, and never brought any of the dreams she had shown him to life.
William continues to show his wife the utmost respect, care, and love. He is unable to comprehend why she has grown distant from him or what went wrong in their relationship.
Example number: 04
When Martha began dating, she ran into one of the standard instances of future faking. This guy was only interested in obtaining her for himself. He described to her his vision of their future life in Switzerland, her favorite nation, and how they would travel, unwind, and prepare meals together. She quickly fell for his elaborate fabrications and gave herself over to all of his hopes and dreams. By the time she realized his lies, it was too late. Her love and energy were not only wasted, but she also lost faith in people for a very long time as a result.
Signs of Future Faking
Love in the initial stages of a relationship can look similar to future faking. These are some signs of future faking that help you understand how it’s different than love:
Your partner is moving way too fast
Has your partner declared their love on the first date or proposed on the third? Yes, that’s a bad idea. When selecting a partner for the rest of your life, choose wisely because reality is far from the land of fairy tales with happily ever afters.
According to the counselor, Ridhi Golechha, future faking is similar to love bombing. People who use love bombing constantly show instant displays of love and affection. They’ll buy you lots of gifts and constantly shower you with words of affirmation. They’ll text you, call you, meet with you, and want to be with you all the time. And all of this happens within a very short period. But it does not always go like this, and their love-bombing eventually ceases.
It feels too good to be true
Everyone fantasizes about finding someone who will enchant them. And it makes sense to be drawn to something that promises all of that. Your partner may say that you give them a sense of exclusivity. You can’t help but be drawn to the stunning landscapes they may have created. But keep in mind that in the future, narcissists will use tactics like love bombing and faking to control you at their whim.
Your partner doesn’t take responsibility
A narcissistic partner refuses to be held accountable for their actions. They’ll always blame you. If you are in a relationship with such a partner, know that your relationship is bound to have a painful ending.
You feel alone
Love is exhilarating, but it also respects your life before relationships. There is excitement in romance and love, but if it requires giving up your previous life, that is a warning sign. Never allow your partner to pressure you into quitting your job, ending your contact with loved ones, or abruptly moving in with them.
They repeatedly make false promises
Hold your date accountable if they keep promising to take you somewhere. When those romantic promises remain empty words and never materialize, it is one of the main indicators that he is future-faking. Everyone makes promises that they weren’t able to keep but not to the extent that a potential faker does.
A future faker is unable to stop making unrealistic promises and then fails to keep them. A commitment to a meeting could serve as an illustration. They’ll consistently assure you that they will see you three times per week but then only meet you once each week, without fail. Of course, it’s fine if they only see you once a week, but in this case, it’s problematic because their words of commitment don’t match their actual behavior.
They don’t even know you
Your partner knows little about you. All of those dreams were never intended for you if all they are aware of are the surface details while talking about your future as though it were something they have been working on for centuries. Narcissists frequently use future faking and love-bombing to grab people’s attention and draw them in. To put it another way, they are more concerned with themselves than they are with your relationship.
Narcissistic people stay preoccupied with talking about themselves, their thoughts, their feelings, their aspirations, their stories, and their lives. And you realize that while you know a lot about them, you haven’t had much opportunity to share anything about yourself.
You might be an excellent listener, but that doesn’t mean you don’t express your needs and share your story with your partner. As much as you acknowledge and validate them in the relationship, you also need to be acknowledged.
How To Respond To Future Faking?
Avoid getting too intimate.
It’s best to avoid having sex unless you are certain of the person’s character and what they mean to you. Your body produces oxytocin and vasopressin during sexual activity, which causes you to become emotionally attached to another person for no apparent reason.
Ridhi says that physical intimacy tends to be rushed in a relationship with a future faker. Even if you aren’t ready for it, they will specifically ask you for physical intimacy. And you’ll agree to concede to maintain the relationship. Alternately, the love-bombing causes you to feel drawn to them and helpless to resist.
Set healthy boundaries.
When they start talking about your future as if you two have been dating forever, step in and cut them off. It’s best to end the relationship immediately if they keep repeating it despite numerous interruptions.
There must be defined boundaries. Take your time with the one that involves physical intimacy. Second, notice when they aren’t keeping their promises. They’ll say they’ll come to meet you but you end up meeting them eventually. Be careful with money, too. Avoid spending too much money on them.
Put their actions before their words.
Their words sound lovely. They hold the promise of a glorious future, but don’t be so easily persuaded. Enjoy the moment, but resist letting it sway you irrationally. You shouldn’t begin to trust them or make commitments to the relationship until they demonstrate that they will do what they say they will do.
The Ending Note
Future faking can be emotionally damaging. You experience cognitive dissonance and feel helpless. The person you fell in love with turned out to be a manipulator and your dreams with them are never coming true. To prevent long-term harm, it is best to break off with your partner as soon as you realize they have been future faking all along. Be mindful of anything that sounds too good to be true the next you get into a relationship, so you experience minimum emotional harm.
FAQs
How do you know if a narcissist is finished with you?
When a narcissist is finished with you, they’ll stop responding to your texts and calls. They’ll suddenly end all contact with you.
Do narcissists know they are narcissists?
Narcissists are generally aware that they are narcissists. They know how others perceive them. Despite being aware of their narcissism, they maintain their inflated ego by assuming that others have failed to recognize their brilliance.
How does a narcissist show love?
For narcissists, love is transactional. They give you love when they know you can give them something in return.