To begin, you must understand what active ignoring parenting is and what active ignoring parenting guidelines are.
A child’s temper tantrums, emotional outbursts, and overall “poor” or unexpected conduct can be caused by a variety of factors. These can include physiologic factors such as hunger or exhaustion. It may involve communication problems due to learning difficulties. It might also involve emotional factors, such as an inability to cope with or articulate their feelings. Their surroundings might also have an impact on their conduct.
What Is Active Ignoring Parenting?
Sometimes children do things to seek attention, to avoid doing things they don’t enjoy, or just to irritate their parents. “Active ignoring” refers to purposefully ignoring certain types of behaviors to make them disappear. Active ignoring parenting can swiftly cease many sorts of undesirable behaviors because children learn that they will be ignored if they continue to engage in the behavior. The result of bad behavior is active ignoring. It does not cause your kid any emotional harm, and it can also help parents feel less furious and unhappy with their children. It is simple to learn, and with enough repetition, it becomes easy to use.
Characteristics Of Active Ignoring Parenting
Most parents will admit that they have attempted to ignore some behaviors, but that this has not been successful. ‘Active’ ignoring, on the other hand, is a more effective means of minimizing children’s behaviors that bother or anger you. It is effective with behaviors such as:
- Constant complaining
Begin by focusing on only one of these behaviors until you are comfortable with the technique. Every time your child exhibits a behavior you wish to discourage, you must actively ignore it.
Tips For Active Ignoring
- When combined with positive attention for actions you want to see more of, active ignoring works nicely. This implies that you overlook the behavior you wish to change and instantly praise your child when he or she does something you appreciate.
- When you first begin ignoring the behavior, expect it to worsen. Prepare yourself for this spike in misbehavior. If you give in and pay attention to your child, you risk teaching him that his conduct must deteriorate for him to get his way.
- Maintain consistency and predictability in your active ignoring parenting. If you are consistent and predictable in your ignoring, the misbehavior will lessen with time. Even if the behavior has stopped for a while, your child may attempt it again to see if it will work to receive attention. Continue to ignore the behavior even if it has been a long time since your child has acted in this manner. If you stop paying attention to the behavior, it is frequently pretty permanent, unless you start paying attention to it again.
- If one parent constantly ignores and another parent rewards the same conduct, ignoring may not function or will take considerably longer to have an effect. Inform everyone who looks after your child (for example, teachers, babysitters, and grandparents) about the kind of behaviors you are attempting to overlook. Then demonstrate how you use the ignoring strategy.
Don’t Use Active Ignoring for:
- Slapping, hitting or pinching
- Breaking or throwing stuff
- Being cruel to animals or humans
- Disobeying a directive
- Swearing and risky behavior
- Endangering others
- Receiving a failing grade
- Failure to complete tasks or schoolwork
- Being scared or shy
- Desiring to be alone
- Situations in which a seizure or other danger exists
How to Engage in Active Ignoring Parenting
When the problematic behavior occurs:
- Look away from the child’s gaze.
- Turn away from the child’s body.
- Ignore as soon as the child begins to exhibit the behavior.
- Maintain a neutral expression on your face. Do not express your anger, irritation, or annoyance. Take some deep breaths!
- Picking up the newspaper, straightening the photographs, and putting on the headphones accentuate your lack of attention in the behavior.
- Tell the child calmly that you are ignoring him. You can say things like, ‘I won’t listen to you until you stop sobbing.’
- Don’t worry about it. Look the other way or find another method to avoid paying attention. Simply leaving the room silently may be beneficial.
- Don’t go into detail. While your child is misbehaving, do not dispute, chastise, or even speak to him or her. You’ve previously described active ignoring. It is now time to put it into action.
- Try not to appear disturbed. Instead, distract yourself with anything like TV, a book, or cooking to help you disguise your emotions.
- Catch your child doing something positive. The “active” aspect of active ignoring is this. Pay close attention as soon as the negative behavior ceases. Show your attention by staring at your child, chatting with them, and complimenting them. If the issue behavior returns, return to ignoring.
- Continue to do so. It’s critical to maintain consistency, even if things go worse at first. When your child cannot capture your attention, he or she may not give up immediately but may try even harder. This is normal, and it indicates that active ignoring is functioning well. It indicates that your child knows what you’re doing and that it’s having an effect. Now is the moment to take a stand.
The Ending Note
The behavior will worsen before improving. This is because the child has become accustomed to receiving a reaction from you as a result of his or her behavior. Because you are no longer reacting, the child will continue to misbehave for a short period before he realizes you are not paying attention, so be prepared to stick to active ignoring parenting! It may appear difficult to ignore at times. Make plans to keep to it.
Your child may also misbehave in ways that are not intended to attract attention and endanger himself. Dangerous and damaging actions must not be overlooked. For example, if your child is causing harm to herself or others, or destroying property, she should not be ignored. These misbehaviors must be quickly halted. Other forms of discipline and punishment, such as time-out, should be employed.