Understanding how your attachment style affects your adopted and foster children is one of the most important elements in developing a free autonomous attachment style in your household. This type of introspection may be unsettling; it’s a lot less scary to search outside of ourselves for solutions to our children’s troublesome conduct. It’s far more convenient to follow the “fix the child, and everything will be OK” attitude.
However, if you’ve ever been a parent, you know that this technique paints an imperfect image of what happens in family interactions. The grownups we have become are a result of how we were reared. Our past influences how we raise our children. Logically, this involves our prior traumas as well as the kind of connection in our birth homes.
This post will teach you about free autonomous attachment style and its signs, but first, let’s define attachment style.
What Is Attachment Style?
We know that a stable bond is critical to the healthy development of an adopted or foster kid. Our working concept of attachment includes a kid’s link with his parent as well as that parent’s sensitivity or attunement to the child. What determines our capacity to be attuned and attentive to our child’s needs if our objective is safe attachment? That is the essence of grasping the concept of attachment style!
Attachment styles are “internal working models” that we construct to understand how relationships operate. Our attachment type determines how we interact with important persons in our life.
- 1 What Is The Free Autonomous Attachment Style?
- 2 How Do We Develop Secure Attachment?
- 3 Symptoms Of Secure Attachment In Adult Relationships
- 4 The Impact Of Secure Vs. Insecure Attachment
- 5 The Ending Note
What Is The Free Autonomous Attachment Style?
The secure attachment style, also known as the free autonomous attachment style, represents a warm and caring relationship between parent and kid. The kid develops the ability to create good relationships with others around them as a result of feeling loved and cared for.
Children that have a free autonomous attachment style are engaged and confident in their interactions with others. Those who establish safe attachment types as children are more likely to retain this healthy bonding style into adulthood and have no difficulty developing long-term partnerships without fear of desertion.
Insecure Attachment Styles
There are three types of insecure attachments.
- Anxious (referred to as ambivalent in kids)
- Avoidant (referred to as avoidant in children)
- Disorganized (fearful-avoidant)
Signs of the Free autonomous attachment style
The following are indications of a secure attachment style:
- Capacity to control emotions
- Easily trusting people
- Excellent communication skills
- Ability to seek emotional support
- Comfortable being alone
- Comfortable in intimate relationships
- Ability to self-reflect in partnerships
- Being easy to connect with
- Ability to handle conflict well
- High self-esteem
Secure Attachment Style Characteristics:
- Trusting, forgiving, and tolerant of differences
- Maintains long-term touch with friends and family
- Turns to others in times of stress, and is accessible to others in their time of need
- Considered a “people person” (this does not always need an outgoing personality) Comfortable with closeness and relying on others without being concerned about the connection
- Parenting with a good blend of structure and nurture
How Do We Develop Secure Attachment?
The most prevalent attachment technique is the secure attachment style. People with this sort of attachment are self-satisfied, gregarious, friendly, and easy to connect with. They are aware of and can communicate their emotions. They tend to form deep, meaningful, and long-lasting partnerships. Parents who desire to raise securely connected children might benefit from exploring the subject and addressing any attachment issues they may have.
Symptoms Of Secure Attachment In Adult Relationships
Adults with a stable attachment type have an easier time making social contacts, connecting, and developing intimate relationships. They are aware of their emotions and emotional needs and can feel and express them. They are open and honest, and they avoid extremes.
A positive self-image
Adults who are securely bonded have a favorable self-image. They do not require confirmation to feel valued or deserving of affection. However, this does not imply that they reject or do not desire intimacy or emotional connection. They just like being alone as well as in couples.
Positivity toward others
These people also have a pleasant attitude toward others. They prefer to trust their spouses and do not feel the need to be envious or question the motives of their loved ones. They accept expressions of affection without fear or apprehension. Individuals with a stable attachment type are typically warm, friendly, and likable. They strive for and are capable of developing meaningful and long-term love connections. They are at ease in close quarters and effortlessly form bonds with people.
The positive view of childhood
Securely attached adults also have a favorable impression of their childhood. Even if their upbringing was not great, they can reflect on and make meaning of their prior experiences. They value the good and accept and move on from the negative.
The Impact Of Secure Vs. Insecure Attachment
The numerous advantages of safe connection are essential to living a healthy life. Among them are the following:
- Greater autonomy
- A higher openness to explore
- More frivolity
- Improved engagement with their peers
- They have less disagreement with their parents.
- Less abrasive
- Less stress
And they become more responsive parents as a result. Future generations will benefit from the secure connection!
Low self-esteem is typical among newborns who create unstable relationships, and they are more prone to display anxiety, despair, and withdrawal. They may be more aggressive in dealings with others.
The Ending Note
Those who display the other three attachment kinds can achieve this sense of autonomous security. Those with a secure attachment style will often have minimal difficulty developing a strong and sober support network since they will be able to contact others without fear.
More significantly, persons with the free autonomous attachment style will be able to request assistance from others when necessary. The fact that they are confident in themselves does not imply that they are unaware of their flaws. On the contrary, they are acutely aware of them and appreciate the importance of their connections to their existence as humans. They can both seek and assist.
Those with a secure attachment style gain from knowing that their feelings are genuine and not influenced by worry or other negative factors. True love is secure love, whether for family, friends, or romantic partners. One of the finest reasons to stay clean is to pursue security and autonomy since to achieve genuine security is to live a life free of the illusions generated and fed by substance misuse.